It has always driven me bonkers but my mother has always maintained that I have small ears. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I was an earache kid and my first procedure was to have tubes put in them. I was then obliged to protect them. I remember then going to clinics for technicians to put a syringe of silicone into my ear canal (gross) to create custom made earplugs. I don’t know if I was old enough to be embarrassed but I’m sure they made me the talk of the swimming party. I was also the kid who got to wear those pink medical looking glasses before I was three. I was just that kid.
To extend the humiliation past the time of glasses or ear tubes my mother got into the habit of saying “you just have tiny ears Kelly, just little baby ears” etc and of course that also translated to “and you just have a tiny mouth Kelly, just a little baby mouth.” I’m sure I reacted so well that she couldn’t resist pushing that button.
Last Monday as my hygienist was trying to wrangle a new age device into my mouth the poor dear, and in between struggling and laughing said “your mouth is so tiny.” Of course I groaned and was forced to reply “my mother would agree with you.” I was having my x-rays done at my new dentists office Toothlife Studio and I must say I have never been treated to such an informative, amusing and high tech dental experience.
During my first cleaning a few weeks ago they painted my teeth a violent purple that turned my plaque into pink or blue depending on the age. I got a gold star for flossing. I always explainI that I have the fear of God put in me after it took 4 needles NOT to freeze me when they had to treat a cavity a few years back. The dentist at Tooth Life, upon seeing both of our kids who have been born bright ginger, said “that’s a thing you know, red heads not freezing.” Well, look at who must have the recessive gene, the things you don’t know until you have kids!
My latest appointment began with her taking my mug shots with a clear plastic device that looked like a double ended shoe horn to pull my mouth open. Thats when I started rolling out the jokes. Next there were other strange objects to make my teeth visible while she shot me with what looked like a new age hairdryer, and she couldn’t stop saying “you’re so funny!” I guess I got my X-rays done, another gold star for my teeth and an ego boost.
In this day and age I don’t know if my dentist appointment was so fun because it was like a social call, as I was home with two gingers that week, because my mouth is apparently tiny or just because they are well, just fun there. Really how could a dentist not be fun when they outfit a bathroom like this? Is it silly to say I can’t wait to go back? I have to floss now.